A letter from Slovenia to North Korea
“Where are you from?” If you don't feel annoyed or uncomfortable by that question then you are from a different country. You are definitely not from Slovenia; and even less from North Korea.
When people like us utter the name of our birth county, we immediately lounge two to three meters under the ground, somewhere between a feudal dungeon and a socialist bunker. We can physically see the retinas in the eyes of people turn from colour to a black and white program. You just know that you have already been categorised as a second class human. Nothing helps, and we know it.
No, they do not believe we have refrigerators in Slovenia, even less that we produce and export them. If we only try telling them how we live, they take a step back. The convention, that the Natives are meant to be useful slaves and not informers, is still present. In the case of North Korea, they just aren't interested in your water parks and schools. If it's not about how abhorrently you live, they will ignore it. Unless you can read their script how you want to be "rescued" by George Clooney or Rainbow Helmets.
Dear North Koreans this is the pancake effect. All the information that does not fit in their narrative, for example, that in Slovenia we eat only cabbage and sleep in concrete walls reading Žižek, simply slides off their mental radar like a pancake from a pan. The same is happening with North Korea. Who wants to hear that the USA bombed your entire country to the ground in the 50’s with the intent to be a murderous sheriff of the World? I mean when was the last time that North Korea attacked a country with 635,000 tons of bombs, including 32,557 tons of Napalm? Never is the correct answer. Those demonic quantities of weapon were dropped on your people. Even today if the USA suggests a million people to be killed it is democracy, but you are evil, because you just do not want to be murdered? Despite that, the USA claims that they are the most democratic and civilised country and that you are the most revoltingly suppressed nation.
Because Kim UN Young hairstyle of course. See? Even a hairstyle of Kim Un Jong is turned into supreme fake news and they love it.
Now let’s talk about Laibach. The Slovenian band that played in North Korea. Of course, you remember you are not Hillary Clinton. Laibach has this mock totalitarian styling and the Third Reich flavour, that blends in nicely these days.
You are to be congratulated; living in the European democracy feels exactly as listening to The Sound of Music played by Laibach. The lyrics are just fine, but to actually experience that, it is like a Nazi would scream in your ear. Therefore the Laibach was an excellent choice, the best, they do represent how we feel and live most of the time. It’s a militant march of loud consumerism. While the politicians sell our nature, factories, and everything. They tell us it is very democratic and not to worry. We should be instead afraid of your leader, while we live behind a barbed wire on one side and German-speaking soldiers with rifles on the other.
Warm regards to you Democratic People’s Republic of Korea across the mainstream media lies from Slovenia. All the best, you deserve it.
If by any chance you find a Slovenian passport on a kamikaze plane or in a melted building, we most probably didn’t do it. On the other hand, if someone jumps off the plane on a bike or in full skiing equipment over any part of your country, claiming it is really just sport, he or she is most probably from Slovenia and it is all true.
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